I have only 6 days left at work and only three weeks left in my house, yet somehow, I don’t think I have made the mental shift. I don’t know if it’s mental procrastination or emotional protectionism, but ready or not, the end of an era and the beginning of a new adventure are here.
The house is starting to look more and more empty as the boxes pile higher and higher. As I shift through all the stuff I have collected over the years, I can’t help but notice so many items I purchased with an intent to use them. Yarn and knitting needles because I intended to learn how to make my own sweaters and scarfs. Watercolor paints and canvas because I felt there was a creative side of me that I intended to express. Party supplies for the next church soiree that I didn’t get the chance to host, but I intended to. Now I am preparing for an estate sale to sell off the last remaining items.
All of this reminds me of what the Bible says about how we intend to do one thing but end up doing another. Only with God’s help can we really complete the good things we intend to do; only by depending on Him can we tame our passions, purify our motives, and develop our dreams. We can intend to be a better person, but only with His help can we carry it out.
The Bible says, “Listen, I can’t explain my actions. Here’s why: I am not able to do the things I want; and at the same time, I do the things I despise. If I am doing the things I have already decided not to do, I am agreeing with the law regarding what is good. But now I am no longer the one acting—I’ve lost control—sin has taken up residence in me and is wreaking havoc. I know that in me, that is, in my fallen human nature, there is nothing good. I can will myself to do something good, but that does not help me carry it out. I can determine that I am going to do good, but I don’t do it; instead, I end up living out the evil that I decided not to do. If I end up doing the exact thing I pledged not to do, I am no longer doing it because sin has taken up residence in me.
Here’s an important principle I’ve discovered: regardless of my desire to do the right thing, it is clear that evil is never far away. For deep down I am in happy agreement with God’s law; but the rest of me does not concur. I see a very different principle at work in my bodily members, and it is at war with my mind; I have become a prisoner in this war to the rule of sin in my body. I am absolutely miserable! Is there anyone who can free me from this body where sin and death reign so supremely? I am thankful to God for the freedom that comes through our Lord Jesus, the Anointed One!” Romans 7:15-24 (The Voice)